Good News Mama!

"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection." -Anaiis Nin It's been a few months since I lasted updated this blog. I was talking to a friend a few days ago, and she said "I actually was stalking you through a mutual friend and loved your blog before I met you in person! Your birth story about Evangeline made me cry!" She asked me why I stopped blogging and I honestly didn't know. I think so much has happened these past two years and maybe I just didn't want to record it because I was overwhelmed by it all. Too many things happened. And maybe it was a delayed reaction, but I think the premature birth and long-term consequences of Evangeline's fragile immunity has caused me to shrink back and waddle in doubt and despair. I can be easily overcome by intense emotions such as anger and irritation, and I'll be the first to admit it (thank God for His grace, I am truly a work in progress!) But to be face-to-face with my newf...

What hurts the most, is watching your kid hurt, and not being able to do anything about it. In the past month, Evangeline has been to the ER twice. Also in the past month, Evangeline choked on food (once at church, and another during a playdate) and I had to administer the Heimlich maneuver TWICE. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that her being a preemie has such long term consequences and that it can still keep affecting her until she grows old. Since she was born early, her immunity is weaker than most typical children. Additionally she was born with a feeding intolerance, so her transition to eating solids has been a struggle. And to this day she still can't eat certain foods because she's not ready (the two foods she choked on were mangoes and bananas, fruits that she's had plenty of experience eating in the past!) Sometimes I feel like I can't handle this type of stress. I've been asked what its like to do the Heimlich on Evangeline, and honest...

I'm so thankful that Kevin and I are on the same page about so many things; it's really no wonder we got married! It also helps that we've known each other since we were 10 years-old (holy moly, that was 17 years ago!) For instance: we believe in the same doctrinal beliefs regarding Jesus Christ and Christianity. We have the same humor and are often giggling and laughing like hyenas when no one else is. We like the same food (except of course, for his dislike of seafood---sigh, there has to be some kind of discrepancy!) and we enjoy the same hobbies (reading, writing stories, watching movies, hanging out and exploring new places, etc.) One of the biggest reasons I love Kevin is because he is a great father to our child Evangeline. Because of my love of motherhood and his love of being Evangeline's daddy, it isn't too surprising that we are both passionate about adoption as well. We are currently unable to adopt because of financial constraints, but we k...

After years of reading and watching videos and going back and forth about this, I've decided that I'm going to take Metformin for my PCOS. The hope is that Metformin will make it easier for me to lose weight because of my insulin resistance. Eventually this will lead to me ovulating at a predictable pattern, and then Kevin and I can hopefully conceive and give birth to a healthy full-term baby! My doctor said it's a good thing and she's prescribed it for her other PCOS patients. In three months I'll be coming back for a follow-up and they're going to run blood tests to see how it's helping my hormone levels. Metformin is a medication that is usually given to diabetic patients because of insulin resistance. A lot of PCOS women eventually get pregnant while on Metformin because of the weight loss and hormone stablizing benefits. It is NOT an ovulation-inducing drug (like Clomid!) but the weight loss eventually can lead to ovulation. I'm going to start Me...

Tonight at Downtown Disney, Evangeline watched fireworks for the first time. Granted, she was fussing and getting bored for most of it, but I still loved knowing this was a first for her. Before being all into Disney became a hipster thing to do, I was a huge fan of Disney...why? Because I'm Anaheim-born, baby! I grew up in Anaheim and have very vivid memories of climbing a ladder onto my roof with my dad and little brother Billy, and watching fireworks together. The car alarm was still pretty new back then, so all the fireworks would set off all the cars in our neighborhood. And at the time, we had a rough collie named Estee who was always so scared of the fireworks. If I wasn't on the roof watching fireworks, I was behind the trash bin holding Estee to comfort him. I was looking down at Evangeline, pointing at the fireworks and trying to explain them to her. I don't know how much she understands, but I do know a lot goes on in that little mind of hers. Her occupation...

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1 Prior to being a mother, I was usually always out of the house and being at home was a rare occurrence. Weekday mornings were spent rushing to get out to go to work, and once I came home, I was too tired to do anything. Weekends were spent going out and using up our free time. Nowadays, most of my time is spent within the home. It was a huge change for me the moment we brought home our baby. After 88 days spent in the NICU, I got used to the noise, as I was surrounded by babies crying and endless beeping and alarms going off. What a drastic change it was, to come home to a quiet house and to just be alone, baby and me, for most of the day when her daddy was at work (from 6 am to 6 pm usually!) It was all the more extreme since we were technically in quarantine for the flu/RSV season. I was a little in over my head. Thankfully that season passed and now we are free ...

I've got a confession: Homemaking is unnatural to me! It is REALLY hard for me to staying at home! I mean, I am really happy to be spending time with my baby at home. Playing with her, holding her, feeding her, doing her therapy exercises... I can do all that. But the truth of the matter is I'm not used to taking care of the home. The kitchen. The bathrooms. The bedrooms. The empty walls! I am so used to going to school and getting good grades. I was bred to do that. I was taught at young age that getting good grades led to making lots of money and that was the definition of the "good life." There was very little emphasis on taking care of the home. How was I supposed to know about the importance of cooking wholesome, nutritious and thoughtful meals? Cleaning until there's not a spec of dust in the house? Artfully decorating a home and accepting visitors, making them feel welcomed? If someone could grade me on those things, I would definitely get a bad grade...