Good News Mama!

A little over two years ago, I was crying to my cousin because I had just found out I was suffering a miscarriage. Not only was it a miscarriage of a baby whom I was losing, but it was also the loss of a twin that Elianna would not grow up with. And when a person miscarries a twin early enough, the baby doesn't come out the way a typical miscarriage happens...the baby just gets reabsorbed into the mom and into the twin. "You should really watch This Is Us. The first episode is about a miscarriage too, except the character played by Mandy Moore loses a triplet." my cousin told me through her tears, as she comforted me since the wounds were so fresh. There are a lot of things within the show that I do not relate with: I never lost a dad to an unexpected death. I do not have an adoptive sibling or was adopted myself looking for a birth parent. I do not have an addiction to eating. But I could relate to miscarriage, and I do plan to adopt one day, so that's as far as ...

"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection." -Anaiis Nin It's been a few months since I lasted updated this blog. I was talking to a friend a few days ago, and she said "I actually was stalking you through a mutual friend and loved your blog before I met you in person! Your birth story about Evangeline made me cry!" She asked me why I stopped blogging and I honestly didn't know. I think so much has happened these past two years and maybe I just didn't want to record it because I was overwhelmed by it all. Too many things happened. And maybe it was a delayed reaction, but I think the premature birth and long-term consequences of Evangeline's fragile immunity has caused me to shrink back and waddle in doubt and despair. I can be easily overcome by intense emotions such as anger and irritation, and I'll be the first to admit it (thank God for His grace, I am truly a work in progress!) But to be face-to-face with my newf...

Evangeline has been home with us for almost a month now (already?!) and we've finally created a routine...it's a "new normal" for all three of us! Currently life consists of drawing up medications, breastpumping, cleaning bottles/breaspumping accessories/syringes, feeding our baby and changing diapers. When Evangeline was born at 6 months gestation, our routine consisted of us going to the NICU for 88 days. It was exhausting and difficult, but it was the only way to see our baby (we can't stress how thankful we are that she's home!) And well, just as we got used to this "new normal," I'm going to have to get used to another "new normal" in about 2 weeks! Why? Because Kevin will be going back to work, since his paid-time off will end soon! Honestly, having a baby is already life-changing as is. But to have a baby with special needs is a lot of work! It's like an overtime job! I always ask Kevin, "What am I going to do when you...

Bye Bye NICU!  Having Evangeline home can be described as two polar opposites. On one end, we as parents are elated with joy and happiness! We waited so long for the NICU Journey to end and we were just so relieved we didn’t have to go back to the hospital! It was such a long process to have to find a parking spot, show our visitor/parent pass downstairs, go upstairs, sign in, scrub up to our elbows for at least a minute, then put everything we are carrying into a pillow case. Every.Single.Day. When you’re in the NICU, you don’t have much privacy either. So once we took Evangeline home, it was such a shock to have peace and quiet. To go to bed and to see her there next to us was such a surreal and pleasant adjustment. And for the first time ever, we heard her snore and grunt and sigh (it’s practically impossible to hear any of the preemies do this in the NICU bc there’s always something going on, whether it be beeping alarms, nurses chatting, or doctors doing their roun...

In the NICU, a surprising majority of the nurses who care over our baby ask us, "How did you choose the name Evangeline? I love it!" We smile because that's a sweet compliment for us as newbie parents. Kevin actually had never heard of the name before, but I first heard it when I was at Pastor Greg Laurie's Harvest Church in Riverside with my best friend Zerah when we were 19. We were surprised at the beginning of Sunday service when they said that they were dedicating a baby to God! I had never witnessed a baby dedication before, and the hope was that the baby would come to saving faith when she became older and eventually get baptized. There were these two happy parents who went up holding the cutest little baby! She was wearing a cute little pink headband with a giant flower and a white dress. I remember the man introduced the family, and said, "This baby's name is Evangeline, which means 'good news' or 'gospel'..how wonderful!" I was ...

Kev and I are finally moved in to our new place! This is a really exciting time for the both of us because it's the first time in our marriage where we get to live on our own, with just the two of us (I don't count our two dogs hehe). This will obviously be short-lived, since a baby will be taking up all our attention in about 3 months (how exciting is that?!) I'm trying my best to spend as much time with Kev before the baby comes. I'm actually at The Masters College in a separate room while Kevin is in class. I'm really thankful for this time since I stopped working and get to be with him. Almost every morning I drop him off at work and then pick him up after, and depending on his schedule, two or three nights of the week are spent driving to Santa Clarita to attend one of his classes at TMC. God willing, he will graduate in a year. If he keeps on going at the pace he's going, he will graduate by next summer. That means that it took him 4 years to get a Bachelo...

Praise the Lord! Today we received our keys to our new house...Well, technically we don't own the house. We probably won't even own a house until we are way older. We are renting a new house, and the lease ends in 3 years so it will be our home for a while! The way we even got chosen to be the tenants of this home was God's blessing upon us as well. We had someone really help us out and he was very beneficial on our behalf. I'm so excited to move into this new place because it will be our first "home home." We are already blessed to be living in the house that we live in (it belongs to Kev's parents) because this house is super huge and beautiful. But it never really felt like our home. We came into the house and everything was already decorated. We weren't living by ourselves as a married couple. Kevin grew up in this house as a teenager. This is the same house I'd visit Kev in as a 15 year-old. We used to dance on the streets as teenagers and r...