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Keeper of My Home


“The wise woman builds her house,
but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
Proverbs 14:1


Prior to being a mother, I was usually always out of the house and being at home was a rare occurrence. Weekday mornings were spent rushing to get out to go to work, and once I came home, I was too tired to do anything. Weekends were spent going out and using up our free time.

Nowadays, most of my time is spent within the home. It was a huge change for me the moment we brought home our baby. After 88 days spent in the NICU, I got used to the noise, as I was surrounded by babies crying and endless beeping and alarms going off. What a drastic change it was, to come home to a quiet house and to just be alone, baby and me, for most of the day when her daddy was at work (from 6 am to 6 pm usually!) It was all the more extreme since we were technically in quarantine for the flu/RSV season. I was a little in over my head. Thankfully that season passed and now we are free to take her out with us! What a privilege and luxury!

My primary time is spent feeding, cleaning, teaching, instructing, nurturing, and playing with Evangeline. I also spend a great deal of time laundering, washing dishes, wiping down counters, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms (ugh, my LEAST favorite) and meal planning (which I have a lot to improve on! Thank God for trial and error, and a gracious husband lol) On my free time, I enjoy reading, writing, and most recently, baking! If I have a few minutes to spare when I'm out, I usually wander around Barnes N' Noble or wandering down the aisles of HomeGoods.

Oh, how things have changed! I guess 24 years of living without having a dependent little human being has its advantages: independence, the freedom to go out and do whatever you want with whomever you want. I'm not going to lie, there are days where the hours drag on. Sometimes I can't wait for Kevin to come home just so I can have a few minutes spent away from our baby who keeps breathing down my back. Literally. Yesterday at 4 am Evangeline woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep, so I brought her into our bed and she was lying down in between us. I decided to lie down with my back to her. Do you know what she did? She started crying. Not only crying, but full on WAILING. Why? Because I wasn't facing her! Kevin keeps laughing at how Evangeline is developing this separation anxiety from mommy. I'm glad someone found this funny at 4 am, because I was NOT laughing! I faced her and she stopped crying...

Life has a funny way of ending up differently than what you expected or imagined. For the past year and a half I have transitioned from a life outside of the home to being a homemaker, and I think I've changed a lot in many ways. I've changed not only in how I spend my time but I also like to think that God is molding me more to be more helpful to my husband and to my child through my love of keeping our home. If anyone would have asked me a few years ago if I could ever picture myself as a stay-at-home mom, I would have laughed long and hard and guffawed, “YEAH, RIGHT!” I don't think my past self would even recognize me right now (I also was 25 pounds skinnier back then, but that's not the point here ;) Before getting married and having a child were plans of going to grad school, making big bucks and traveling the world. What a different life I lead now, compared to the one I used to aim to have!

Time is passing by so quick and sometimes I look at Evangeline and think “When did you get so big?!” There's a pang in my heart because it's a heartbreaking realization that every second that passes can't be returned or repeated. My baby is growing, and Kevin and I are getting older too. I really cherish these moments because tomorrow isn't promised. 

While I love the occasional going out to Downtown Disney, or the weekly grocery trip to Costco or our local Albertsons, there is always something comforting about stepping into the warmth and familiarity of our home. We moved into this little house about two years ago and it has a very special place in my heart because this is where Evangeline is growing up! I'm so thankful for this shelter that God has provided for us. I pray that Evangeline can grow up one day and look back on these days with happiness, warmth and love.

I know I will. 
 

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