Ever since I got pregnant, I've been extraordinarily sick. Evangeline's whole 6 months inside of me was already tough enough but what I've gone through this past 4 months has traumatized me in a way that makes me want to scream "TIE MY TUBES IN 5 MONTHS PLEASE!!!" I want to post about all the symptoms but I feel like I'll get more sick if I focus on it too much... so I'd rather sit here and write about something that makes me feel a little bit better, and what would that be?
My husband. And yeah, maybe writing about the symptoms will go hand in hand in this post.
You see, when I say I've been really sick. I mean it. I have thrown up over 34 times (I keep tally while I throw up as a way to distract myself since I need to take "breaks" and breathe a little bit longer each time I force more food out of my body...) And guess who cleans the toilet or the floor after I throw up? Guess who's next to me, makin sure my hair is up and not getting in the way of the vomit? That's right. It's Kevin. And he's there to hand me tissues and he's there to give me water afterward since my throat just feels so raw from all the acid afterward. He's there to hand me a bucket with a plastic bag inside of it (it's actually Evangeline's pail for the beach, sorry baby girl!) and he always changes the bag after I throw up inside of it since I throw up in it while running to the bathroom, and then start throwing up in the toilet. I actually prefer to throw up in the toilet and flush every so often just so I don't have to smell what I throw up right away. Oh, did I mention I am extremely sensitive to smell? So throwing up in a pail isn't my favorite method since the vomit is just there. Close to my face. Gross!
When I have heartburn, and it's not just normal heartburn, it's PAINFUL heartburn...the kind where I can feel the acid come up, literally can point to where in my chest it is, and I'm wincing and in pain, Kevin is always there to say "Can I do anything to help?? Do you want your Pepcid??" and I wail "I'm only allowed to take it twice a day!!!" He's there to just wait for it to subside. And he distracts me in random ways, usually ways to make me laugh.
Since I've been so sick, I have barely been able to clean. So he cleans. He does the laundry. He wipes the counters. And he goes out to buy food, since I can't stand the smell of cooking which wafts through the entire small house we live in. And not only does he clean after me and Evangeline, but then there's the case of the tissues.
I also have a symptom called ptyalism. It means hyper salivation. And I mean HYPER. Since the beginning of this pregnancy I literally have been drooling and spitting into tissues. Combine that with lots of vomiting and heartburn and wiping my mouth, there have been days where my lips are just cracked and bleeding and as my friend puts it, "It looks like you've suffered!" Tell me about it, girlfriend. I literally go through at least 6 Kleenex boxes a day just spitting and those tissues accumulate nearby our bed (I usually throw them in a box..those huge diaper boxes) and eventually it just overflows and ends up in random places on the floor nearby the box. Or if I'm on the couch, I put the tissues nearby me. Guess who cleans up those tissues? Kevin does. He always jokes he just dumps all the tissues into our garbage bins outside but the other day he came back home and then tissues were all over the front yard on trash day...meaning that when the garbage truck was lifting up our garbage bin all the tissues flew out lol! So I guess Kevin has to place them in garbage bags from now on. Ya live and ya learn!
So when it comes to my symptoms, the worst has been: nausea, lots of vomiting, hypersalivation, nausea, sensitivity to smells...and some days I get headaches or am painfully constipated.
Thankfully I've been on medications to help me. For first trimester I used Diclegis which is basically a mix of vitamin B6 and sleeping tablets called Unisom. But now that I'm in second trimester I'm on Zofran, which is an anti-nausea pills which were originally made for cancer patients since chemo caused so much nausea and vomiting. Not sure who thought it was a good idea to give it to pregnant women but now thousands of women like myself have that person to thank bc I can finally go back to church without worrying of vomiting on my friends and family.
So yeah, I'm thankful for meds. But I'm most thankful for my husband. Because not once in these 4 months has he complained about taking care of me and playing a lot with Evangeline. Actually, if anything, since I've been so sick, Evangeline and Kevin have gotten a lot closer as a result. Evangeline used to be SO attached to me because I did everything for her and with her but now that I can't do those things, she asks daddy for help. And when he comes home, she gets SUPER excited and runs to greet him at the door as I'm stuck in bed just waiting for him and her to come into the room and greet me.
He's such a good dad. And he's an amazing husband. I don't what I did to ever deserve a husband like him. And during this super tough pregnancy, I can honestly say I've fallen more in love with him. I would like to say that going through what we did as parents with Evangeline in the NICU and going through her bouts of not breathing and choking on foods have been some of the toughest times of our lives. But also, I would put this pregnancy as a second. I've never felt such pain on my body and I can honestly say I am emotionally and physically suffering because of it. So much has happened. I'm honestly traumatized. I'm scared of the future (will this baby be a preemie too? Will I have a good delivery? Will I heal?) I haven't fully processed all that has happened either, because a LOT has happened to Kevin and me since this pregnancy began. It's just too much sometimes.
But one good thing that has come about in the last 4 months, besides my baby girl Evangeline growing and this baby growing inside of me, is a deeper appreciation for my husband. Sometimes I just wonder why he loves me so much, and I sometimes am overwhelmed by it. And I think about Christ and how much He loved me and was willing to suffer for me. I am extraordinarily blessed. I can get jealous of other preggos who have beautiful pregnancy glow, and tiny arms and tiny bodies and cute bellies (which seems to be all of my friends!) Even my best friend is pregnant, and she's lookin' all cute while I've over here lookin' like death!
All I can do is stay as healthy as possible, pray that this baby makes it to full term, and that mommy and baby quickly heal from the delivery! Then maybe I can convince Kevin to get a vasectomy lol
My husband. And yeah, maybe writing about the symptoms will go hand in hand in this post.
You see, when I say I've been really sick. I mean it. I have thrown up over 34 times (I keep tally while I throw up as a way to distract myself since I need to take "breaks" and breathe a little bit longer each time I force more food out of my body...) And guess who cleans the toilet or the floor after I throw up? Guess who's next to me, makin sure my hair is up and not getting in the way of the vomit? That's right. It's Kevin. And he's there to hand me tissues and he's there to give me water afterward since my throat just feels so raw from all the acid afterward. He's there to hand me a bucket with a plastic bag inside of it (it's actually Evangeline's pail for the beach, sorry baby girl!) and he always changes the bag after I throw up inside of it since I throw up in it while running to the bathroom, and then start throwing up in the toilet. I actually prefer to throw up in the toilet and flush every so often just so I don't have to smell what I throw up right away. Oh, did I mention I am extremely sensitive to smell? So throwing up in a pail isn't my favorite method since the vomit is just there. Close to my face. Gross!
When I have heartburn, and it's not just normal heartburn, it's PAINFUL heartburn...the kind where I can feel the acid come up, literally can point to where in my chest it is, and I'm wincing and in pain, Kevin is always there to say "Can I do anything to help?? Do you want your Pepcid??" and I wail "I'm only allowed to take it twice a day!!!" He's there to just wait for it to subside. And he distracts me in random ways, usually ways to make me laugh.
Since I've been so sick, I have barely been able to clean. So he cleans. He does the laundry. He wipes the counters. And he goes out to buy food, since I can't stand the smell of cooking which wafts through the entire small house we live in. And not only does he clean after me and Evangeline, but then there's the case of the tissues.
I also have a symptom called ptyalism. It means hyper salivation. And I mean HYPER. Since the beginning of this pregnancy I literally have been drooling and spitting into tissues. Combine that with lots of vomiting and heartburn and wiping my mouth, there have been days where my lips are just cracked and bleeding and as my friend puts it, "It looks like you've suffered!" Tell me about it, girlfriend. I literally go through at least 6 Kleenex boxes a day just spitting and those tissues accumulate nearby our bed (I usually throw them in a box..those huge diaper boxes) and eventually it just overflows and ends up in random places on the floor nearby the box. Or if I'm on the couch, I put the tissues nearby me. Guess who cleans up those tissues? Kevin does. He always jokes he just dumps all the tissues into our garbage bins outside but the other day he came back home and then tissues were all over the front yard on trash day...meaning that when the garbage truck was lifting up our garbage bin all the tissues flew out lol! So I guess Kevin has to place them in garbage bags from now on. Ya live and ya learn!
So when it comes to my symptoms, the worst has been: nausea, lots of vomiting, hypersalivation, nausea, sensitivity to smells...and some days I get headaches or am painfully constipated.
Thankfully I've been on medications to help me. For first trimester I used Diclegis which is basically a mix of vitamin B6 and sleeping tablets called Unisom. But now that I'm in second trimester I'm on Zofran, which is an anti-nausea pills which were originally made for cancer patients since chemo caused so much nausea and vomiting. Not sure who thought it was a good idea to give it to pregnant women but now thousands of women like myself have that person to thank bc I can finally go back to church without worrying of vomiting on my friends and family.
So yeah, I'm thankful for meds. But I'm most thankful for my husband. Because not once in these 4 months has he complained about taking care of me and playing a lot with Evangeline. Actually, if anything, since I've been so sick, Evangeline and Kevin have gotten a lot closer as a result. Evangeline used to be SO attached to me because I did everything for her and with her but now that I can't do those things, she asks daddy for help. And when he comes home, she gets SUPER excited and runs to greet him at the door as I'm stuck in bed just waiting for him and her to come into the room and greet me.
He's such a good dad. And he's an amazing husband. I don't what I did to ever deserve a husband like him. And during this super tough pregnancy, I can honestly say I've fallen more in love with him. I would like to say that going through what we did as parents with Evangeline in the NICU and going through her bouts of not breathing and choking on foods have been some of the toughest times of our lives. But also, I would put this pregnancy as a second. I've never felt such pain on my body and I can honestly say I am emotionally and physically suffering because of it. So much has happened. I'm honestly traumatized. I'm scared of the future (will this baby be a preemie too? Will I have a good delivery? Will I heal?) I haven't fully processed all that has happened either, because a LOT has happened to Kevin and me since this pregnancy began. It's just too much sometimes.
But one good thing that has come about in the last 4 months, besides my baby girl Evangeline growing and this baby growing inside of me, is a deeper appreciation for my husband. Sometimes I just wonder why he loves me so much, and I sometimes am overwhelmed by it. And I think about Christ and how much He loved me and was willing to suffer for me. I am extraordinarily blessed. I can get jealous of other preggos who have beautiful pregnancy glow, and tiny arms and tiny bodies and cute bellies (which seems to be all of my friends!) Even my best friend is pregnant, and she's lookin' all cute while I've over here lookin' like death!
All I can do is stay as healthy as possible, pray that this baby makes it to full term, and that mommy and baby quickly heal from the delivery! Then maybe I can convince Kevin to get a vasectomy lol
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