As newlyweds, Kevin and I were informed by a few doctors that it would be nearly impossible for me to have a baby naturally. All of them told me I'd need to use medication in order to conceive. I took the news harder than Kevin, and I would often obsess over my "failure" to provide children. And like many other women who have struggled with infertility, I found myself wandering into a pet store one day...and the moment I saw those perky little orange ears, I was a goner.
Kevin is usually the voice of reason (and that isn't only because he loves apologetics or logic!) so when I called him and said I fell in love with a puppy and HAD to take him home, he was hesitant. But because he knew I struggled with sadness over not having a baby, he said he would come after work and meet the little guy.
That little guy was a chubby, shy and beautiful shiba inu, whom we would later name Dipper.
Kevin couldn't resist once he met Dipper. This was the MOST emotional purchase we had ever made (and they say never to buy puppies out of emotions, you gotta do research for breeds...but hey, it worked out for us-I mean, who will fight love at first sight?) We bought a puppy package and brought home our little guy! We would often joke that Dipper was the puppy we would practice with before we had our own baby (whether biologically or through adoption!) In many ways, Dipper was our first "baby" and the first addition to our new family.
So, it is not very difficult to imagine our shock and horror when we came home two days ago and found him dead in our backyard. I sobbed into Kevin's arms and felt like we were in a bad dream. I called different animal hospitals to see if they offered dog autopsies (necropsies) so we could find out what happened! And so Kevin and I said goodbye to our boy, and put him in a box and had our brother bring him to the hospital. The vet called the next morning and said that despite all of the probing and prodding, there was NOTHING obvious wrong with him! Dipper's organs were totally fine, and there were no masses or obstructions or internal scarring.
He.Just.Died.
Kevin and I barely slept that night, and it hurt to know the next day was Easter. Kevin was also preaching for our Easter service so I felt extra bad for him. But it was just SO unbelievable that Dipper would just die out of nowhere, and we couldn't wrap our minds around it. I even asked the vet if we could do a more in-depth autopsy, where they would check his blood and tissues but she said that even if we did do that, because it had been already more than a few hours, the results wouldn't be 100% accurate. She was baffled as well, and comforted me by saying, "Although 3 years was way too short, Dipper had a good life. He was extremely loved, and that's more than I can say for a lot of dogs in the world." I cried after I hung up. Dipper would have turned 4 years-old in two weeks.
The next morning we went to a morning Easter service at Kevin's uncle's church. This year has been tough for a number of reasons, and one of the biggest reasons is because Kevin's uncle was just recently diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer (stage 4) and we also just recently found out it had already spread to his lungs and liver! Uncle John was the officiant for our wedding, and he is an amazingly godly man. He and his wife Auntie Susie are our favorite couple in the whole world. Auntie Susie is made to be a pastor's wife, and honestly, when I'm around them, they exude so much love and compassion...it's almost as if I can feel God's presence each time I chat with them. They are AMAZING. And they've been such a strong testimony of God's grace during this time. They haven't complained even though it's hard, and they often encourage and comfort their church and family members when they should be the ones being comforted! When we were about to leave, Uncle John and Auntie Susie were offering us their condolences. I felt sheepish and embarrassed (I mean, the whole last half year they were always offering comfort since our daughter was in the hospital after she was born!) But she and him understood our pain because they have some pets of their own, a few beautiful kitty cats. Auntie Susie said she couldn't imagine if one of them just died suddenly. And she said, "I know that you only had a few years with Dipper, but let's thank God for that short amount of time....even though I know John may only live for a few more years, these past 20 years were just so good and I cannot thank God enough. I wouldn't trade a single second for the world." What an amazing woman, to be going through such a tough time with her husband's diagnosis and to still find it in her heart to comfort me when our first family pet died.
It is SO strange for us to not know what the heck happened to cause our beloved dog to die! It's almost as if there's no closure. The vet said there was nothing we could have done to avoid this. I believe in a sovereign God so I almost just pictured God saying, "Alright Dipper, your time is up." And then that was it.
But Kevin and I have found comfort with this thought:
Dipper came to fulfill a specific purpose: we wanted and asked him to prepare us for when we finally would have our own children. He did that! And when Evangeline came home from the hospital after 3 months, Dipper would often sit beside her or stare at her for long amounts of time. It was as if he was protecting her and watching us to see if we were fit parents. Maybe God wanted Dipper in our lives so we would have someone to love and care for before Evangeline came. It's only been a few weeks but Evangeline has been improving so much health-wise. It hurts to think that maybe Dipper saw that he did what he came to do, and that was it. But he did help us to be better parents for Evangeline.
There are no words to describe how much I miss him. I just want to see him again, being the happy and lively dog he was. I don't know about anything in the Bible which says anything about a dog heaven, but it does say that there will be animals in the new earth when Jesus comes back...so I can only hope I'll see him again! It might sound silly, but why not? Anything is possible!
Dipper,
You were the best first family pet in the whole world. You were stubborn, mischievous, hilarious and frustrating! You were also very private, and often offended our visitors because you weren't friendly right away. It was only after you trusted people that you warmed up to them, and they would cherish your loyalty. The best times to see you were in the morning, or when we would return home, because that was when you were happiest to see us...always wagging that little swirly cinnabon-tail of yours!
You always did things your way. You wouldn't really obey us, but sometimes you would find us "agreeable" and do what we asked you to do (usually if there was food involved hehe).
I'll miss your obsession with fetch..you could go for hours and hours. I'll miss your crazy eyes each time you saw a squirrel outside, before you bolted to try and catch them. I"ll also miss when we would use a laser pointer and you'd chase it like you were a cat!
You were the BEST guard dog, always barking and howling when you heard someone coming up to our door. You were such a great protector!
You were a bit of a diva, refusing to get dirty and also grooming yourself for hours. You were beautiful and you knew it! You were also the biggest shiba to ever exist! You just kept on growing and always surprised everyone with your size.
You were such a fast and graceful runner. I'll even miss every time you would run outside and escape, giving me heart attacks and causing me to pray to God you wouldn't get run over (and you almost got run over SO many times! I thought that maybe you'd pass away because of that, NOT LIKE THIS!)
I wish you could've lived for a decade more, like the way we always planned it would be. Thank you for preparing us to be parents, and for watching over Evangeline as she came home and got better with each day. It breaks my heart even more to think that she won't ever remember you or get to know you personally. I wish you two got to know each other more.
(These are the last photos ever taken of Dipper, after his passing. Michael brought him to the animal hospital where they prepared his body. Kevin and I wish we were the ones to take him, but we couldn't because of Evangeline and because of how Kev needed to be ready for his sermon the next day. These photos are so special and precious to us. Beautifully captured, the moment I saw them I cried.)
Kevin is usually the voice of reason (and that isn't only because he loves apologetics or logic!) so when I called him and said I fell in love with a puppy and HAD to take him home, he was hesitant. But because he knew I struggled with sadness over not having a baby, he said he would come after work and meet the little guy.
That little guy was a chubby, shy and beautiful shiba inu, whom we would later name Dipper.
Kevin couldn't resist once he met Dipper. This was the MOST emotional purchase we had ever made (and they say never to buy puppies out of emotions, you gotta do research for breeds...but hey, it worked out for us-I mean, who will fight love at first sight?) We bought a puppy package and brought home our little guy! We would often joke that Dipper was the puppy we would practice with before we had our own baby (whether biologically or through adoption!) In many ways, Dipper was our first "baby" and the first addition to our new family.
So, it is not very difficult to imagine our shock and horror when we came home two days ago and found him dead in our backyard. I sobbed into Kevin's arms and felt like we were in a bad dream. I called different animal hospitals to see if they offered dog autopsies (necropsies) so we could find out what happened! And so Kevin and I said goodbye to our boy, and put him in a box and had our brother bring him to the hospital. The vet called the next morning and said that despite all of the probing and prodding, there was NOTHING obvious wrong with him! Dipper's organs were totally fine, and there were no masses or obstructions or internal scarring.
He.Just.Died.
Kevin and I barely slept that night, and it hurt to know the next day was Easter. Kevin was also preaching for our Easter service so I felt extra bad for him. But it was just SO unbelievable that Dipper would just die out of nowhere, and we couldn't wrap our minds around it. I even asked the vet if we could do a more in-depth autopsy, where they would check his blood and tissues but she said that even if we did do that, because it had been already more than a few hours, the results wouldn't be 100% accurate. She was baffled as well, and comforted me by saying, "Although 3 years was way too short, Dipper had a good life. He was extremely loved, and that's more than I can say for a lot of dogs in the world." I cried after I hung up. Dipper would have turned 4 years-old in two weeks.
The next morning we went to a morning Easter service at Kevin's uncle's church. This year has been tough for a number of reasons, and one of the biggest reasons is because Kevin's uncle was just recently diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer (stage 4) and we also just recently found out it had already spread to his lungs and liver! Uncle John was the officiant for our wedding, and he is an amazingly godly man. He and his wife Auntie Susie are our favorite couple in the whole world. Auntie Susie is made to be a pastor's wife, and honestly, when I'm around them, they exude so much love and compassion...it's almost as if I can feel God's presence each time I chat with them. They are AMAZING. And they've been such a strong testimony of God's grace during this time. They haven't complained even though it's hard, and they often encourage and comfort their church and family members when they should be the ones being comforted! When we were about to leave, Uncle John and Auntie Susie were offering us their condolences. I felt sheepish and embarrassed (I mean, the whole last half year they were always offering comfort since our daughter was in the hospital after she was born!) But she and him understood our pain because they have some pets of their own, a few beautiful kitty cats. Auntie Susie said she couldn't imagine if one of them just died suddenly. And she said, "I know that you only had a few years with Dipper, but let's thank God for that short amount of time....even though I know John may only live for a few more years, these past 20 years were just so good and I cannot thank God enough. I wouldn't trade a single second for the world." What an amazing woman, to be going through such a tough time with her husband's diagnosis and to still find it in her heart to comfort me when our first family pet died.
It is SO strange for us to not know what the heck happened to cause our beloved dog to die! It's almost as if there's no closure. The vet said there was nothing we could have done to avoid this. I believe in a sovereign God so I almost just pictured God saying, "Alright Dipper, your time is up." And then that was it.
But Kevin and I have found comfort with this thought:
Dipper came to fulfill a specific purpose: we wanted and asked him to prepare us for when we finally would have our own children. He did that! And when Evangeline came home from the hospital after 3 months, Dipper would often sit beside her or stare at her for long amounts of time. It was as if he was protecting her and watching us to see if we were fit parents. Maybe God wanted Dipper in our lives so we would have someone to love and care for before Evangeline came. It's only been a few weeks but Evangeline has been improving so much health-wise. It hurts to think that maybe Dipper saw that he did what he came to do, and that was it. But he did help us to be better parents for Evangeline.
There are no words to describe how much I miss him. I just want to see him again, being the happy and lively dog he was. I don't know about anything in the Bible which says anything about a dog heaven, but it does say that there will be animals in the new earth when Jesus comes back...so I can only hope I'll see him again! It might sound silly, but why not? Anything is possible!
Dipper,
You were the best first family pet in the whole world. You were stubborn, mischievous, hilarious and frustrating! You were also very private, and often offended our visitors because you weren't friendly right away. It was only after you trusted people that you warmed up to them, and they would cherish your loyalty. The best times to see you were in the morning, or when we would return home, because that was when you were happiest to see us...always wagging that little swirly cinnabon-tail of yours!
You always did things your way. You wouldn't really obey us, but sometimes you would find us "agreeable" and do what we asked you to do (usually if there was food involved hehe).
I'll miss your obsession with fetch..you could go for hours and hours. I'll miss your crazy eyes each time you saw a squirrel outside, before you bolted to try and catch them. I"ll also miss when we would use a laser pointer and you'd chase it like you were a cat!
You were the BEST guard dog, always barking and howling when you heard someone coming up to our door. You were such a great protector!
You were a bit of a diva, refusing to get dirty and also grooming yourself for hours. You were beautiful and you knew it! You were also the biggest shiba to ever exist! You just kept on growing and always surprised everyone with your size.
You were such a fast and graceful runner. I'll even miss every time you would run outside and escape, giving me heart attacks and causing me to pray to God you wouldn't get run over (and you almost got run over SO many times! I thought that maybe you'd pass away because of that, NOT LIKE THIS!)
I wish you could've lived for a decade more, like the way we always planned it would be. Thank you for preparing us to be parents, and for watching over Evangeline as she came home and got better with each day. It breaks my heart even more to think that she won't ever remember you or get to know you personally. I wish you two got to know each other more.
(These are the last photos ever taken of Dipper, after his passing. Michael brought him to the animal hospital where they prepared his body. Kevin and I wish we were the ones to take him, but we couldn't because of Evangeline and because of how Kev needed to be ready for his sermon the next day. These photos are so special and precious to us. Beautifully captured, the moment I saw them I cried.)
Rest in Peace
Dipper Gausselin
April 2012-April 2015
We love you, Dipper.
Thank you for bringing so much joy into our lives.
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