"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another "What? You too? I thought that no one but myself..."' (C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves)
The day after I was diagnosed with PCOS, I met someone who would encourage me in ways I never knew I would need. She is truly a gift from God because she has inspired and pushed me to have a godly perspective on PCOS, and her friendship couldn't have come at a better time. I'm sure that other PCOSer's out there understand me when I say sometimes, you just need a friend who understands you. I was having a hard time because I felt so alone. At that time, I only had two friends with PCOS and both were so far away that I didn't get to talk to them often about how they were doing, and less so about how their PCOS was affecting them! I was the first one out of my group of friends to get married (I got married at 23 and now we are 25, but most of my close friends are still single) so when I would talk about babies or worries and anxiety, some would just stare at me blankly. The worst was when someone would say, "Well at least you found your man already!" or "You're so young...just enjoy your marriage and eventually it will happen...." On the other end of the spectrum were my married friends who had normal periods and felt awkward around me because they already had kids/were pregnant.
I asked this specific friend if I could blog about her and she goes, "ooOooh of course! I feel so special!" HAHA! I just praise God for her.
I was at a party for one of the older members of our church and was in line to use the bathroom before the devotional started. Standing in front of me was a late-twenties/early-thirties man who had just recently started attending our church services, with his wife and baby usually standing in the back with the other parents of the congregation. I hadn't really gotten a chance to talk to either of them, other than the occasional hello's and waves to acknowledge one another. So I introduced myself and asked about his wife and baby, which later led to my questions: "How old is your baby? Was she planned?" He replied back, "She's almost a year old..but honestly, she was a miracle baby, because my wife has something called PCOS." My eyes lit up and I said, "I was just diagnosed yesterday with PCOS!" He was like "Oh really?" and then he suggested excitedly, "Here, talk to my wife! HEY HONEY! COME HERE! SHE HAS PCOS TOO!!!!" I literally stood there in shock because 1) I never spoke to her before and didn't want her to think I was weird for sharing that I had PCOS the first time I talked to her husband and 2) I didn't want everyone at the party knowing about my condition! How awkward! But then she came out and introduced herself as Eunice, straddling her adorable half-Korean half-Filipina baby girl named Lois (Eunice and Lois from the Bible..get it?) and she just started talking to me like we had been friends for a lifetime! For the next few minutes we just went back and forth about all the horrible symptoms of PCOS, how she gained 60 lbs within the first year of marriage, had the facial hair, couldn't lose weight, had mood swings, etc etc. I was just thankful someone else had PCOS and didn't need to ask me to elaborate on details about the condition. But most of all, I was encouraged that she had a baby who was alive and happy and cute and right in front of me!
I asked the million dollar question: "So how did you get pregnant???"
Her answer? "It was all GOD."
I later found out Eunice and her husband really wanted to become missionaries so they were all ready and packed to go and move to China. They also had a heart for adoption so they wanted to adopt a Chinese baby girl since girls are not as valued in a culture that esteems the males over females. She told me that prior to the decision to move to China, her OBGYN told her that her condition of PCOS was extreme, with so many cysts that you couldn't even count them, and that she couldn't ever get pregnant naturally unless she started Clomid ASAP (Clomid is a drug that is used to help women with PCOS to have regular periods and to ovulate, which is something that needs to be done in order to get pregnant) . Also, she just needed to bleed so that there would be less of a chance of cancer since her endometrial lining was so thick. After praying and considering their choices, they decided that if they were going to get pregnant, then it would be natural. No meds. Prior to that, she had used the birth control pill for regulating her periods and controlling her acne and she had horrible side effects, such as hair loss and mood swings. They were concerned that if she took Clomid/Metformin then maybe the side effects would be even more horrible.
Her husband reasoned to her, "Don't you want to give ALL glory to God, and not to the meds?" I later talked to her about that statement, because I had been considering Clomid. She said that she wasn't against meds, and that some of her friends had used Clomid but it didn't work for them. She also had friends who did IVF & IUI. She wasn't against it, but it definitely wasn't for them. She affirmed "Every baby is a miracle and a gift from God."
For two years, she had no period. And she struggled a lot with the idea that she could never have her own child. Multiple negative pregnancy tests and PCOS symptoms were horribly discouraging. Towards the end of the two years she started monitoring her food intake and caffeine intake, and exercised and danced at the gym 2-3 times a week. One day she decided to pee on a pregnant test stick "just in case" and VOILA! It was positive! She took more tests to make sure, and they were still positive. A blood test and ultrasound later, they found out they were 4 months pregnant, and had no idea beforehand!!! She hadn't been taking any prenatal vitamins, was still drinking caffeine on the weekends, and was mortified the baby might be unhealthy or a blighted ovum...but her godly husband told her to calm down, stop reading the horror stories online, and that she needed to trust God. They cancelled their plans to move to China for missions and waited and prayed for the baby to be delivered in 5 months.
Lois was born a healthy and happy baby, and now here they are, waiting for the doors to open to go on the missions field yet again. After 2 years of no period, after being told multiple times from her OBGYN it was impossible without medications, after years of crying and hoping and being disappointed, God granted them their prayer request for a baby when they least expected it.
I praise God for Eunice and Lois because their story as mommy and child is a desire that I one day hope to have, but also it is just a manifestation of God's grace and goodness to His children. We truly do not deserve a lot of the gifts that God showers. Eunice reminds me that I've already seen so many miracles and blessings in my life and that it is just hard to focus on the good when you are constantly thinking about the bad that comes out of PCOS. She tells me, "God placed that desire in your heart for a reason and I can see you as a mommy..." and honestly after times of just talking with her I've felt my spirit lifted and encouraged. PCOS can really feel like a curse and sometimes it can just bring the strongest women down to their knees crying out for a child that they haven't even met yet, for a child that hasn't been born or seen or touched.
During a time where I have felt so alone and cursed, I found out that I wasn't alone and that God still has a story for me that He is writing. And maybe it won't be like Eunice's story, where she had a miracle baby that was a complete surprise! Maybe my story won't even end with me having babies. But what I do know is that God loves His children, and that He always showers us with grace and that in every trial there is a reason for it.
It might sound weird to be so thankful for a friendship with a sister with PCOS! But honestly, I can't praise God enough for blessing me with someone who understands yet still points me to draw closer to Him and cling to the faith. I am convinced that God sent her into my life at the exact timing it happened just to remind me that He still loves me and has a great future (with or without babies) in store for my husband and me. God is so good to bless us in ways we never imagined. We are so undeserving
The day after I was diagnosed with PCOS, I met someone who would encourage me in ways I never knew I would need. She is truly a gift from God because she has inspired and pushed me to have a godly perspective on PCOS, and her friendship couldn't have come at a better time. I'm sure that other PCOSer's out there understand me when I say sometimes, you just need a friend who understands you. I was having a hard time because I felt so alone. At that time, I only had two friends with PCOS and both were so far away that I didn't get to talk to them often about how they were doing, and less so about how their PCOS was affecting them! I was the first one out of my group of friends to get married (I got married at 23 and now we are 25, but most of my close friends are still single) so when I would talk about babies or worries and anxiety, some would just stare at me blankly. The worst was when someone would say, "Well at least you found your man already!" or "You're so young...just enjoy your marriage and eventually it will happen...." On the other end of the spectrum were my married friends who had normal periods and felt awkward around me because they already had kids/were pregnant.
I asked this specific friend if I could blog about her and she goes, "ooOooh of course! I feel so special!" HAHA! I just praise God for her.
I was at a party for one of the older members of our church and was in line to use the bathroom before the devotional started. Standing in front of me was a late-twenties/early-thirties man who had just recently started attending our church services, with his wife and baby usually standing in the back with the other parents of the congregation. I hadn't really gotten a chance to talk to either of them, other than the occasional hello's and waves to acknowledge one another. So I introduced myself and asked about his wife and baby, which later led to my questions: "How old is your baby? Was she planned?" He replied back, "She's almost a year old..but honestly, she was a miracle baby, because my wife has something called PCOS." My eyes lit up and I said, "I was just diagnosed yesterday with PCOS!" He was like "Oh really?" and then he suggested excitedly, "Here, talk to my wife! HEY HONEY! COME HERE! SHE HAS PCOS TOO!!!!" I literally stood there in shock because 1) I never spoke to her before and didn't want her to think I was weird for sharing that I had PCOS the first time I talked to her husband and 2) I didn't want everyone at the party knowing about my condition! How awkward! But then she came out and introduced herself as Eunice, straddling her adorable half-Korean half-Filipina baby girl named Lois (Eunice and Lois from the Bible..get it?) and she just started talking to me like we had been friends for a lifetime! For the next few minutes we just went back and forth about all the horrible symptoms of PCOS, how she gained 60 lbs within the first year of marriage, had the facial hair, couldn't lose weight, had mood swings, etc etc. I was just thankful someone else had PCOS and didn't need to ask me to elaborate on details about the condition. But most of all, I was encouraged that she had a baby who was alive and happy and cute and right in front of me!
I asked the million dollar question: "So how did you get pregnant???"
Her answer? "It was all GOD."
I later found out Eunice and her husband really wanted to become missionaries so they were all ready and packed to go and move to China. They also had a heart for adoption so they wanted to adopt a Chinese baby girl since girls are not as valued in a culture that esteems the males over females. She told me that prior to the decision to move to China, her OBGYN told her that her condition of PCOS was extreme, with so many cysts that you couldn't even count them, and that she couldn't ever get pregnant naturally unless she started Clomid ASAP (Clomid is a drug that is used to help women with PCOS to have regular periods and to ovulate, which is something that needs to be done in order to get pregnant) . Also, she just needed to bleed so that there would be less of a chance of cancer since her endometrial lining was so thick. After praying and considering their choices, they decided that if they were going to get pregnant, then it would be natural. No meds. Prior to that, she had used the birth control pill for regulating her periods and controlling her acne and she had horrible side effects, such as hair loss and mood swings. They were concerned that if she took Clomid/Metformin then maybe the side effects would be even more horrible.
Her husband reasoned to her, "Don't you want to give ALL glory to God, and not to the meds?" I later talked to her about that statement, because I had been considering Clomid. She said that she wasn't against meds, and that some of her friends had used Clomid but it didn't work for them. She also had friends who did IVF & IUI. She wasn't against it, but it definitely wasn't for them. She affirmed "Every baby is a miracle and a gift from God."
For two years, she had no period. And she struggled a lot with the idea that she could never have her own child. Multiple negative pregnancy tests and PCOS symptoms were horribly discouraging. Towards the end of the two years she started monitoring her food intake and caffeine intake, and exercised and danced at the gym 2-3 times a week. One day she decided to pee on a pregnant test stick "just in case" and VOILA! It was positive! She took more tests to make sure, and they were still positive. A blood test and ultrasound later, they found out they were 4 months pregnant, and had no idea beforehand!!! She hadn't been taking any prenatal vitamins, was still drinking caffeine on the weekends, and was mortified the baby might be unhealthy or a blighted ovum...but her godly husband told her to calm down, stop reading the horror stories online, and that she needed to trust God. They cancelled their plans to move to China for missions and waited and prayed for the baby to be delivered in 5 months.
Lois was born a healthy and happy baby, and now here they are, waiting for the doors to open to go on the missions field yet again. After 2 years of no period, after being told multiple times from her OBGYN it was impossible without medications, after years of crying and hoping and being disappointed, God granted them their prayer request for a baby when they least expected it.
I praise God for Eunice and Lois because their story as mommy and child is a desire that I one day hope to have, but also it is just a manifestation of God's grace and goodness to His children. We truly do not deserve a lot of the gifts that God showers. Eunice reminds me that I've already seen so many miracles and blessings in my life and that it is just hard to focus on the good when you are constantly thinking about the bad that comes out of PCOS. She tells me, "God placed that desire in your heart for a reason and I can see you as a mommy..." and honestly after times of just talking with her I've felt my spirit lifted and encouraged. PCOS can really feel like a curse and sometimes it can just bring the strongest women down to their knees crying out for a child that they haven't even met yet, for a child that hasn't been born or seen or touched.
During a time where I have felt so alone and cursed, I found out that I wasn't alone and that God still has a story for me that He is writing. And maybe it won't be like Eunice's story, where she had a miracle baby that was a complete surprise! Maybe my story won't even end with me having babies. But what I do know is that God loves His children, and that He always showers us with grace and that in every trial there is a reason for it.
It might sound weird to be so thankful for a friendship with a sister with PCOS! But honestly, I can't praise God enough for blessing me with someone who understands yet still points me to draw closer to Him and cling to the faith. I am convinced that God sent her into my life at the exact timing it happened just to remind me that He still loves me and has a great future (with or without babies) in store for my husband and me. God is so good to bless us in ways we never imagined. We are so undeserving
oh my goodness. my eyes are all wet!
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